a raw collection of words from my heart


the little happy things {1-15}

1. when the strangers you smile at smile back
2. screaming and cheering during games
3. looking into people's eyes and seeing something you never saw before
4. picking up the school vibe
5. listening to disney music
6. rainy afternoons curled up in your bed
7. colorful stationary and accessories that make you happy
8. smelling coffee brewing in the kitchen on a rainy day
9. having blurry conversations before dropping off to sleep
10. eating the best cookies two days in a row
11. daydreaming about nothing much, really
12. yelling singing out favorite music in random situations
13. scraping off the whipped cream from the cake and eating it
14. when your brother tells you you're pretty
15. listening over and over again the chords of a beautifully sad song


{inspired by jenn}

today is prissy's birthday. happy birthday darling. you're an awesome leetle sister and i just wanted you to know that ♥


this is ash + a happy birthday

me-left. ash-right.

this is ash.

{well, perhaps i should say 'this is natasha' but i call her ash, so it doesn't really matter does it?}

i knew her ever since i was about eight or nine. she was a quiet girl, always standing there with her younger brother, hair neatly braided. she never really participated in the games i came up with [such as who-can-roll-the-fastest-on-the-floor-to-the-end-of-the-room game], and was usually regarding me and the other boisterous kids playing with me with a very suspicious eye.

but no matter. i didn't really care too much. too busy mussing up my clothes and hair maybe. anyways, she popped over to our new church when both of us were about eleven, and because i had been praying for a girl my age, she seemed to answer my prayers. it was pretty awesome until i discovered we had so many differences.

she hates cheese, i love it.
she despises dressing up. i adore it.
she'd rather not hug. i love hugs.
she doesn't like heights / roller coasters. boy, do i love them.
she's typically a leader. i'm not.
she talks only when she has something legit to say. i tend to ramble.

i had to learn how to overcome them, how to give in sometimes, how to control my temper, how to state opinions in ways that didn't hurt people. she taught me a lot. and in the past 5 years, our friendship has grown and matured. it wasn't just a short sprint; no, it was a marathon that i had to run. and although we've had tons of disagreements and fights, we've stuck through till today. she knows exactly when i just want to talk and rant, and want her to reply, and when i just need a shoulder to cry on. never mind that she's sometimes too bossy :), i mean we all have our weaknesses. never mind that she's the same age as me, her wisdom far surpasses her years. she's calm, cool and she listens.

even though we are very different [we both DO love chocolate and sweets, though], we enjoy hanging out. earlier this year, we met at j.co just to talk and tease ha. and we had a smashing time. [we were supposed to meet for lunch, but we decided doughnuts were a better choice. we're awesome like that.]

so this is ash--slender, different, bossy, lovely.

{and today's her birthday. we're going out to ice skate at the j.cube ice ring on friday. i'm sure it's going to be rockin' fun (photos hopefully coming soon!).
happy sweet sixteen darling ♥  just wanna say thank you for putting up with me. i'm not the best at time, but you've been simply ah-mazinga. when i heard this, it made me think of you. Ü}


in which i do a profile of one the closest kindred spirits by me.


once upon another moon

once upon another time, when we were so close. when we shared our hearts, lives, and dreams. when we truth-or-dared one another with dire consequences. when we dreamed about the future. when we silently cursed growing up because it brought us further apart. (when i dreaded it even more and cried for quite a while.)

it's a full moon tonight. not just any moon. but the deep, wax-yellow moon with the halo of light around it, just as how it was always had been. as i stared up at it, the beautiful wax-yellow light it shed, i remembered. i remembered how our families used to eat together so often, and the stupid random funny conversations we had. my inside ached for the times. a breeze caught my hair and played with it for a while. i breathed deeply. breathed in that familiar smell of balmy nights laughing and teasing. breathed in the memories and let them sink. sink right down into the bottom of my heart, where i hoped they would be kept forever and always.

bittersweet. isn't that the word they use to describe chocolate? maybe that would fit us. we were bittersweet. sometimes nice, other times not so. and because we were, the memories became that too. they were bittersweet, capable of evoking a sense of warmth but all too capable of bringing hurt. but bittersweet all the same.


i thought of many people while writing this.
many people, but mainly t.c.b. and q.w.

ps: thanks for all the lovely comments. you all are darlings, and if you haven't any time to do the blog challenge thingamajig, then no worries :) love you all ♥♥